music and romance can be complicated

I don't usually like Manga based off of dating sims because it builds up all of this romantic tension and then doesn't follow through. This one wasn't so bad though, and because of the art and the story telling.

I do get really annoyed at the lead though, there is no way a person can be so clueless as to not notice that Six guys are seriously interested in her. I know it's necessary to drive the story but it makes her look seriously stupid. The books also seem to have a bit of a Madonna complex in regards to her, which is a bit creepy, especially when the guys who are romantically interested in her start thinking of her in motherly ways. I know it's mild, but ick.

The series is really good at building romantic tension though, so if you are a fan of that (as I am) then check this series out. It's also about music, which is beautiful and great so that's another reason to give it a try.

I also found the inclusion of a whole new set of characters very distracting. I kept thinking that there was so little space left, so why waste it on people we aren't invested in? Bah.

This is a good book for young tweens, since the romance is high, but the actual contact between bodies is (incredibly) low. There isn't even kissing, except maybe once on the forehead.

They were there, but then I left.

So i was reading along, thinking this would be your average slice of life shojo manga. I generally like that genre, and even though the guy love interest was a little needy and annoying and there was some slut shaming of his dead girlfriend i was managing to enjoy it enough to continue.

Then the big gap happened. If you've read it you know that there's a five year period where boyfriend just drops off the map, doesn't tell anyone where he is, if he's alive, anything. Just gone. Now if it were me, that would be the point where I say "forget that loser, I'm better then this" and move on, but noooo. Apparently boyfriend is so special and damaged that she cannot forget him and chastely waits until he will some day come back. And I use the word chaste on purpose here, because despite the fact that they dated for over a year they do not have sex. They almost do, twice, but never actually get there. And then since she's waiting for him she still doesn't have sex, even after she starts dating his best friend and pretty much living with him. With the fact that the first (now dead) girlfriend is painted as a whore (the word is actually used by boyfriend in regards to her) it makes for some creepy parallels.

Oh and the reason boyfriend ran away? It seems to be a mix of needing to be needed/help the emotionally weak and also a fear of being actually loved. How's that for baggage? Yeah, I think teens would like this series, but it was too melodramatic and had way to many broken relationships/people for me. Real adult relationships are so far away from what's shown in this book that they look like completely different species.

I guess I did find it entertaining enough to finish it though...

Visioning as a map

We met as a trio last week with J, the library's ambassador to the LLDP program (she helps us find our way, and makes us more comfortable there, so that's how I think of her. It's not her actual title, in fact she's like our sempei in that she's already completed the LLDP training and now is there to liaison and help us through it too. ). During the meeting we talked a lot about what we had covered during the last two sessions, coaching and visioning. I've already written about coaching so today I want to go over having a vision statement.

My mother often listened to those motivational tapes growing up, she was especially fond of Zig Zigler.I don't know why but I got it into my head that doing so was a little silly (I was six and pretty much unformed play-doe) and I've kept some of that feeling ever since. Of course your brain is a powerful tool, and you can use it in many ways to better your life, or even to help keep you physically healthy. This kind of thinking is being studied by scientists and far from silly as I once believed, but still the idea of it has kind of eluded me. It took an explanation from B (my book making friend) to really help me understand why we vision. She said to put your goal on the path you want to take and then move back from there to where you are. Not only can you see where you want to be (motivation) but every step you take on the path is now clearer. One decision may look nicer, but it could take you further away from your goal. In that sense a vision statement is like having a map to where you want to be. If it wasn't for B, and E (my trio) and Ambassador J I would not have this understanding now. I still haven't really learned to fully use this new skill, but I hope to. I have some pretty clear goals that I'd like to get out of this program.

Anyway the next two sessions are next week. We're working on collaboration, so I need to go do the pre-reading and find an article. I'll write more again after the sessions.

Coaching

I have been thinking some more on coaching, and while it has bee difficult to practice I've been trying to implement it more in my daily life. Not so much at work, because I don't care what they say about leading from where you stand there are some lines that you just don't cross (especially as a young person). So I've tried doing it with the students I've worked with at the desk and with my friends. It's HARD to not give advice when people tell you their problems, like really hard.

So I get that the main idea behind coaching is to help people come to the realization about what they want to do in a situation, which outcome suits them best. Giving advice may feel better to the giver but it can wildly miss the mark too, and occasionally leave the receiver very upset. For personal examples I'll offer up my poor dad, who just couldn't understand why I wouldn't major in a science in University. I could never explain why it wouldn't do, even though it should have been easier for my dyslexic self to manage. But then I am pretty stubborn, and will often take the hard path out of spite just to prove I can.

Coaching is kind of a difficult skill to learn, although it seems like it wouldn't be. It involves active listening, and asking pertinent open ended questions. That's pretty much it... I guess I'll follow up again after the next session?